frustration tolerance on red alert

why are my frustration levels going through the roof lately? i feel like i'm losing control over everything... maybe it's god's way of telling me that i never had control in the first place.

passion

today i had dinner with a friend who recently started his own business. he gave up a very well-paying job ($200K+) to start a company about something he loved to do. he's so passionate about this business and what he wants to accomplish to help people, it's very humbling. it's all about passion for what you do that helps you succeed and bring more meaning to your life, and i'm a strong believer in that. sure, he's struggling a little bit financially, but he's happy in what he's doing and has the support of his family.

i heard richard branson speak last week and he said the exact same thing (not a very good speaker, by the way). if you do it just to make the quick buck, you're just wasting what little time you have in this world to make an impact. if you believe in something enough and devote enough time and energy to it, you'll be just fine.

very cliche, and very hard to follow, but all the more humbling and reminds me that i need to do what i'm passionate about. if i do it right and work hard at it, the rest will (hopefully) take care of itself.

wall street, the movie

kind of sad, but i know so many people who are just like the characters in 'wall street'... and the sad part is sometimes i get jealous of their success.

people, part deux

if people change over the years... it's the way they look.

new idea

aileen thought of a brilliant idea that we may actually consider doing. need to do some research.

attention

the ability to focus your attention away on certain tasks contributes to greater success in life.

glee

i think the reason why i like this show so much is because it wants me to get back into music.

rent a cop

today, after eating dinner with my coworkers, we went to baskin-robbins to get ice cream. pulling into the parking lot, we saw a black man immediately drop his things and make a mad dash deeper into the crowded lot. about a minute later, coming out of my car, we saw a security guard (a young white guy) and the black man escorting another ragged-looking black man by the arms. he had stolen something from one of the nearby stores and they caught him as he tried to escape. the thief looked incredibly sad and destitute. i couldn't help but feel bad for him. 

as they were walking they were mumbling some words to each other, and i couldn't quite hear what they were saying, but all of a sudden the security guard slapped the thief real hard on his bare stomach. sounded just like a belly flop, and you could definitely hear it loud and clear. not sure where in the rent-a-cop manual it says to slap the suspect on their bare stomach for no good reason, but it definitely got the guy to shut up. it was certainly uncalled for.

they threw the guy on to the sidewalk, where there was now a crowd just watching them, and the thief just laid on the concrete, curled up on his side, and closed his eyes. his face was the quintessential picture of hopelessness. 

in all likelihood, he was probably a homeless man who just wanted some money for food (or money for drugs, depending on your worldview). and as the cops arrived, searched and arrested him, which took an unusually long time considering we were literally across the street from the city's police headquarters, the man didn't say a word or move a muscle. it was probably one of the lowest points in his sad life. in the meantime, the security guard was just towering over him, chest puffed up and ego spraying everywhere, like he conquered mt. everest or took down a bull. ironically, that was probably one of the highest points in the security guard's life.

after we were done rubber necking and eating our ice cream, we went back to our luxury cars and drove to our nice luxury condos, driving right past the homeless thief and the hourly-wage rent-a-cop. without a care in the world.

not quite sure what i learned from that experience, but thought i shouldn't forget it.

church today

sermon today (trinity grace church in NYC) was quite good. it was about how people treat each other - what people in general do today, and what we should be doing instead. today, people compare and condemn each other. the first thing we do when we meet someone is make an opinion, then use fact to solidify any opinions,  and then emotion to build the relationship. that is where people usually stop. they don't move to vulnerability, then compassion and then finally brotherly love. it is the last three things that one needs to build a true relationship with another. and it is only on the last phase where you can GENTLY encourage people to do good and to support each other. 

key word here is "gently," because often times, we end up telling our loved ones to change their behavior by forcing down their throats. that only starts a vicious cycle of us telling them to "try harder" -> which leads to the person feeling "guilt" -> then eventually "failure" and then starting all over at "try harder" (there are four steps in total but i can't remember them all). 

the key is to gently nudge the person in the right direction, where it is done in a timely manner and a gradual change (as a reminder, you should be doing this once you have reached the love stage of getting to know someone, not the opinion/fact phase). and this is where i fail miserably. a lot of times, i literally tell others to "try harder" and just try to force change without taking into consideration that it will only fail. i need to be gentler, i need to show more love, and i need to do it to myself as well.

there's a lot more to the sermon that i don't remember and did not mention, but i figured i would write this out now before i forget everything else.

different people

want different things. trying to figure out each person's wants and needs is such a chore.

bachelor parties

if there is anything that you know has a limited quantity and only gets harder with age, it's bachelor parties. i can't drink as much as i used to, stay out late as i used to, and have the energy to keep going as i used to, but the more you go to these things, you realize how valuable these things are... you have such limited time in your adult life to spend with all your closest friends for a weekend and have a valid excuse to act like an idiot at the same time.

stages of learning and enduring success

the five stages of learning
0 - arrogance: are you a 'knower' or a 'learner' when being taught something?
1 - insight: realizing that you just learned something new
2 - action - taking action on your learnings
3 - reliability - repeatedly acting on it
4 - sponsorship - being able to serve as a model of the learnings

the four qualities of enduring success
1. happiness
2. achievement
3. significance
4. legacy

all four need to be balanced in your life; you can channel your energy into one, but you can't ignore the other three. this is the 'paradigm of limitation.'

on a side note: i got my first standing ovation today after giving a speech... :)

life decisions

so obvious, but it's so easy to give out advice to people who are in big or tough situations... but once you're in the exact same position, it's real hard to take your own advice.

playing tennis

i play a lot better when i'm just nonchalant about it... maybe trying too hard is detrimental to me?

habits

good habits die easily while bad habits die hard.

my tennis playing ability

i tend to mirror my opponent's playing skills... if my opponent stinks, i stink. if my opponent is good, i play well. why can't i just play to my best potential no matter what?

clenching my jaw

i clench my jaw a lot when i'm awake. i don't even realize it until i move my mouth and all of a sudden my jaw muscles are sore.

not knowing the answer

whenever i don't know the answer to question in a situation when i am expected to, i need to learn how to think clearly and not panic.

buying groceries

never really occurred to me until today but whenever i go grocery shopping at the asian supermarket, i only buy korean items - or items that my mom usually buys. there are thousands of non-korean sauces that are probably just as good, if not better. this realization came when wayne went to hmart and his stuff was full of the chinese items that i don't even look twice at, and our stuff was full of the korean items that he doesn't even look twice at.

getting past the plateau

this is going to sound a bit conceited but when it comes to things that involves some type of skill, i would say i'm above average and have a pretty quick learning curve. for example, i would say i'm pretty decent in tennis and probably better than most people. i would also say i'm better than most at video games, musical instruments and sports. maybe even typing.

(sidenote: sounds real cocky, i know... but i should also mention that i am really horrible at more things than i am good at... like dancing. i really suck at dancing. and cooking.)

however, no matter how much time i spend on one thing, whether it is tennis or video games, i reach a plateau that i cannot seem to surpass. it's like the tortoise and the hare. i have an all out sprint and out in front, but as time passes, i'm just in the middle of the pack. i feel like i just don't have what it takes to be at the very top. i feel like i'll always be just "good enough."